


Love You Any Less

by Shi_Toyu



Series: Painsgiving - November 2018 [25]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alzheimer's Disease, Angst, Angst and Feels, Emotional Hurt, Feels, Gen, Hurt Tony Stark, Inspired by Poetry, Memory Loss, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Painsgiving, Poetry, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Peggy Carter's Death, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-18 20:21:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17587760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shi_Toyu/pseuds/Shi_Toyu
Summary: After Peggy's death, Tony finds a letter in her journal that's addressed to him.





	Love You Any Less

**Author's Note:**

> Day 25: "Promise to never forget me?"
> 
> **The poem within is actually one I wrote following the passing of my grandparents, three of whom suffered memory loss prior to their deaths.

Almost two months had passed before Tony found it. He’d been so caught up in his own recovery, building new braces for Rhodey, and wrangling the Accords into something workable, that he hadn’t had any time to sit down and go through the boxes of items the caregivers at Peggy’s assisted living facility had packed up for him.

He felt raw and fragile as he sorted through the items that had made up her life, the knitted blanket from Ana Jarvis that had covered her bed, pictures she’d kept around in a vain attempt to remember the people she cared about most. He found her journal tucked away carefully, black leather cover supple and soft under his fingers. He flipped through it idly, fingers tracing over the familiar flourishes of her handwriting as it got worse and worse with every day.

He was about to set it aside when he noticed a folded piece of paper tucked into the back. He was surprised, upon opening it, to see, “for Ducky” scrawled across the top of the page and a poem underneath. Judging by the handwriting, Peggy had to have written it at least several months before her death. Tony felt his heart clench as he began reading.

 

_Love You Any Less – for Ducky_

 

_Sometimes I can’t remember things_

_I’ve a tendency to forget._

_I ask you to forgive me_

_For I truly try my best._

_Now please don’t ever think_

_I wished to leave you with this mess._

_We had so many years for which_

_I treasure and feel blessed_

_To have had the chance to know you_

_And to get this off my chest._

_We did many things together,_

_So many memories we share._

_Each and every one of them_

_Is filled with love and care._

_Everyone who looked at us_

_Could see it clearly there,_

_But those days have come and gone_

_And there’s no hope of repair._

_I wish I could have kept from you_

_This burden you must bear._

_And yet you still come visit me_

_No matter what I say._

_I may not know your face_

_But never doubt you make my day._

_You shower me with love_

_I wish that I could stay._

_I wish that I could go back_

_And have things a different way._

_I wish I could remember._

_Oh, what I wouldn’t trade!_

_But that is not the way of things._

_It’s not the world in which we live._

_We only can move forward_

_And give all that we can give._

_You’ve given me so much_

_And I’ve held you as captive._

_All the pain I’ve put you through,_

_I hope you can forgive._

_Just know that I’ll be happy soon_

_Even though I’ll be outlived._

_I loved you then, without a doubt._

_You gave me all the best._

_I love you still, I only wish_

_I better could express._

_But be assured there’s no end here._

_Of this, I do confess._

_For even if I leave you now_

_And go to final rest,_

_There’s nothing in this world that could_

_Make me love you any less._


End file.
